I'm a little "Off" lately

Lately, I have been just off. I don’t know exactly when it started, but I can remember it back as far as when Pop-paw died at the end of November. I don’t know what it is. Kind of everything I guess. Emotions are up and down. Energy level is up and down. On edge a little more often. More forgetful. A little blue. Way too much on my mind. I don’t know that I have had a really happy day in some time now. Don’t get me wrong. I am happy. I love my life, and I realize that I am blessed and in a wonderful situation. But “I ain’t right.”

Mom was telling me over the weekend that my Granny had trouble with a hormone imbalance, among other things. And that mom also had some issues, but she had a hysterectomy when she was 37 which fixed most of them. I have made an appointment with my OBGYN for next week to get checked out.

Last week I went to Southwestern Medical Center’s Depression and Mood Disorder division. I had originally called right after Pop died because they were doing a study. Pop was all the time doing some study. It seems like for years every time we went over he was doing a new one. He was so cool. Anyway, I felt moved to call them and see if I qualified. Well, I didn’t. Apparently, I’m not as screwed up as I feel. But I did talk to a Psychiatrist. He talked to me for over an hour. He thinks I’m depressed. But during our conversation, we kind of did a history of me. OMG! I should really be nuts! I am doing really good for someone in my place. It was depressing, but kind of funny in a pitiful sad sort of way. Really, I have good excuses to be flat out crazy. Many of you know of different experiences I have had, and after going over it all with the Dr., I really hope you never get together and compare notes! It would explain a lot! I am looking for a bumper sticker that says “Crazy and proud of it!”