Outside Influences

Ok, I have admitted to my Facebook addiction. My name is Michelle, and I am addicted to Facebook. Well, last week, one of my “friends” changed his marital status from married to “it’s complicated.” My responded “what the hell?” He and his wife had a baby on the same day Major was born, a little girl.

On Monday, Kelly the neighbor called and told me that our friend, N, was splitting from his wife, because he had been screwing M for the last three years. My heart just broke. How sad! I mean, I had suspicions, but to have them confirmed. It was sad.

Of course, I internalized this new development and made it my own. Around 5:00 Mark called and said he had to work late (you already know where I am going with this don’t you.) Then around 8:00, Mavrick called him and got his voicemail. He had come home late a few weeks ago and I remember thinking, “Gee, that is good cologne, it has lasted all day.” He comes home late ALL the time. We have been together for 17 years… that’s a pretty log time, he could be bored. He never seems to initiate sex (TMI, sorry!). I have gained so much weight. I am less than confident. Who could find this sexy, especially after 17 years? I could go on and on, and in my mind, I did. He got home about 1:30 in the morning. I woke up around 3:30 with the baby, and was so depressed I cried myself back to sleep.

Ok, I know I’m stupid. First of all, Mark really loves me, and I know he does, but I had just let myself get in this really bad place. Secondly, His first wife cheated on him, and he knows how awful it is to be hurt like that. And third, he knows that I would take his kids so far away from him that it would be years before he saw them again. That would hurt him the worst, and I would want him to hurt. Finally, Mark’s just not the cheating kind.

How many wives have said all of the above only to find out that their husband has been screwing around? Let me tell you! My marriage was under attack that day because of someone else’s foolishness. Anyway, I called him the next morning and asked him if he was having an affair. He said no. And I said ok.