A new week

It is Sunday. The start of a new week. I have made it through most of the day without extra drugs. I am having trouble focusing on what I am doing. I start out and walk into a room and then stand there with my hands on my hips thinking “hmmm… what was I doing?” And I am still in great disbelief. The reality that my daddy is gone is yet to sink in.

My goodness, how I love that man. We have been calling him “our voice of reason.” I can rarely recall him being angry. But when he was angry, he would get mad as hell. I can mostly recall the calm, the reason, the peace. I am praying for peace, for calm. I know that the reason is beyond me.

Mom seems to be doing well. Today is her first day at home alone and tonight her first night alone. She is such a strong woman. I went to the grocery store by myself last night and it was all I could do to make it there without crying.

Things will never be back to normal. But as we try to find a new normal I want to slow our lives down a bit. Enjoy the small things more. Live our lives and not have our lives living us. I pray for peace.