The kids and I are at my mom’s house right now. I am still looking for healing. Still looking for peace. I can’t even wrap my head around the idea of my dad being one. I still expect to walk to the end of the hall and see him at the computer. It just doesn’t even seem real, except for the fact that I feel broken.
Tonight we were in the dining room, and there are two pictures of mom and dad on a low table. Major was talking to the pictures. I was standing there with Michael and mom and we just watched him for a while. He was saying “paw-paw” pointing at daddy and then “honey” pointing at mom. It was precious.
The boys had stayed the weekend with mom and daddy the weekend before he died. I picked the boys up late Monday afternoon and he died Tuesday morning. Anyway, on that Monday, Major had said “paw-paw” for the first time. Daddy had been waiting on that child to say that for a long time. He was so happy that Major finally said it. And one day, Major is going to be so happy to know that he made Daddy’s day on that day.
Michael also had a sad moment in the dining room. Mom was talking about getting a smaller desk and Michael went to her crying. I was standing right there and of course crying because he was crying. He told her that desk was Poppy’s and that was where they remember him spending a lot of time and that he wanted her to keep it right there. I was so proud of him for speaking up and expressing his feelings. Michael and Mavrick have been real quiet about Poppy’s death. But I can tell they are fragile right now. Their fuses just seem shorter. But they are all three amazing young men! And I know they are going to be a big help to their Honey in the days and years to come.
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