The last few months have been difficult on me, to put it lightly. It seems that life has been a roller coaster since mid-March. It was about that time that I decided that Homeschooling the boys just wasn’t for me. I am just not structured enough to make everyone happy. Even I am not organized enough. I love the freedom part, and I love spending all this time with my sweet boys. And it was a fantastic year that I would not trade. But overall, our family was not benefitting like we should have been. I guess it is true that “if momma ain’t happy, ain’t no body happy.” So we spent the rest of the school year making sure the boys knew all the information on the TAKS Test that the public schools give their students so they would be able to go to the school by us.
While all of this was going on Mark and I hit a rough spot. We both had kind of lost ourselves and each other in everyday life. It has be a difficult few months for us, but I feel like we are on our way back to reconnecting and getting back to good. But we had a period of time that things here were just too tense and that tension was getting to the kids. So, right after Mavrick’s birthday, me and the boys went to visit my sister-in-laws in Austin. We only planed to be there a few days, but ended up being gone for 10 days. We came home on a Thursday, and the following Tuesday, Daddy died.
I feel like I have just been in neutral since then. It didn’t all happen at once, but if feels like it. I am just waiting for the next bomb to go off. Trying to lay low and wait. Today, it has really become evident to me that that is what I am doing. Keeping myself busy and trying to stay below the radar so noting else bad will happen. This would probably be a good time to start therapy.
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