I have been away much too long…How can it be that I was only away 4 days, but it has taken 2 weeks to get caught back up!
`
Since the kids and I got back from the farm, it has been no-stop go go go! We came home on Tuesday the 2nd, and on Wednesday Mavrick woke up sick. I got him to the Dr. that day and he had strep. So he was home on Wednesday and Thursday. I think he still has a few make up papers from that week and then this week he was at home another two days with a relapse. Major has cut two teeth, and Mav has lost two. Michael has his first basketball game of the season, which they WON! My good friend/sister, Allison, lost her dad to a massive heart attack, a friend of mine in Arkansas lost her baby, and I found out that the Chapter advisor I had at Tech passed away in November.
Now, I find myself 5 days from Christmas, and I don’t have a thing for Mavrick. He wants drums… OMG! I just can’t do drums. Mark want to get him some electric drums that he can wear headphones and play. I am sure he will end up with some type of drums, but I am not swinging from the rafters over joyed about it.
Today was a LONG day, but a fun day. Major and I went to the boys school about 10 am and helped with Michael’s classes Christmas party. Then we all went to Northpark Mall to see the trail exhibit. It benefits the Ronald McDonald House Charities, so I was glad we could go. It was really cool, and I think all of the boys liked it. Major even seemed fascinated. Christy and her crew, and Mom and Dad went too. We ended up staying till too late and got caught in traffic coming home. I was so tired that I thought I was going to fall asleep driving! But I didn’t…
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
My Step-Grandmother
ELVA – The funeral home delivered Elva’s roses to the house and not to her at the funeral home, so when the kids and I left on Tuesday we took them by to her. She was glad that we had come by and we had a very pleasant conversation.
It is a strange relationship. I love her because my Pop-paw loved her. And I love her because she is my kids “MeeMaw.” I respect both of those relationships. But she wasn’t always good to Pop, and there were several times that she was outright mean to Mom. I am aware of both of those, so it makes it difficult to not have some feelings that are not all lovie dovie. It's like I love her, but sometimes I don't like her. (See Mark, it's not just you I do that with:)
I am glad that Pop found someone to love again. I am glad that he didn’t spend his last ten years alone. I appreciate the good things that Elva brought to his life. But I have also seen her try to manipulate him, and it makes me sad to think of how she may have treated him when no one was around. One of their caregivers who was with them before they went to the nursing home told us that she was often mean to Pop. That makes me upset.
I always have my guard up when I talk with her. I don’t want to be manipulated, so I am always reading between the lines… so, when she said “I really think it was the beginning of the end when he couldn’t drive anymore. He got real mad, then he would grieve, then he’d be mad and then grieve some more. I really think that is what started it.” I felt angry. I felt like she was trying to blame his death on my uncle Calvin and my mom. Yes, they asked that he not drive anymore, but he had recently had an accident, he was 87 years old, and it just wasn’t worth all the risks. It makes me sad if he was really that upset about it. But if he would have had an accident and killed someone, or himself… it just wasn’t worth all the risks.
That one little statement made me want to quit talking to her. I was nice, and I will continue to be nice because of the relationships I mentioned earlier. I will continue to take the kids by to see her when we are in town. This relationship is a strange and often difficult dynamic to my life.
It is a strange relationship. I love her because my Pop-paw loved her. And I love her because she is my kids “MeeMaw.” I respect both of those relationships. But she wasn’t always good to Pop, and there were several times that she was outright mean to Mom. I am aware of both of those, so it makes it difficult to not have some feelings that are not all lovie dovie. It's like I love her, but sometimes I don't like her. (See Mark, it's not just you I do that with:)
I am glad that Pop found someone to love again. I am glad that he didn’t spend his last ten years alone. I appreciate the good things that Elva brought to his life. But I have also seen her try to manipulate him, and it makes me sad to think of how she may have treated him when no one was around. One of their caregivers who was with them before they went to the nursing home told us that she was often mean to Pop. That makes me upset.
I always have my guard up when I talk with her. I don’t want to be manipulated, so I am always reading between the lines… so, when she said “I really think it was the beginning of the end when he couldn’t drive anymore. He got real mad, then he would grieve, then he’d be mad and then grieve some more. I really think that is what started it.” I felt angry. I felt like she was trying to blame his death on my uncle Calvin and my mom. Yes, they asked that he not drive anymore, but he had recently had an accident, he was 87 years old, and it just wasn’t worth all the risks. It makes me sad if he was really that upset about it. But if he would have had an accident and killed someone, or himself… it just wasn’t worth all the risks.
That one little statement made me want to quit talking to her. I was nice, and I will continue to be nice because of the relationships I mentioned earlier. I will continue to take the kids by to see her when we are in town. This relationship is a strange and often difficult dynamic to my life.
Saturday, November 29th
I am trying to document the last few days… well, this year really, for the kids. I want to print my blog from the last year and put it together like a book, so when they get older and things come up we can go back and see what was happening around that time. Especially for Major, who never got to know Pop-Paw, or Angela.
That brings me back to last Saturday. Saturday morning, mom and I had to deliver Pop’s obituary to the funeral home by 10:00, so we left the house at 9:00 and went by to get a picture that his sister printed for us on the way. We delivered the obit, made corrections on a copy they printed for us (which didn’t all get corrected!) and then went to find a florist. Being a holiday weekend, there was not one single florist in town who was open. We went back to the funeral home to see if they knew of one that may be open, and they have a florist. Yea! But she was not in yet.
So, we went to the western store and bought some clothes for him. We got him a very nice outfit, that he looked great in. I could just see him going dancin’ in something like this. They used to go to dances down at the lodge. It was so sweet, and they were so cute! He was so handsome. He was never much of a coat and tie guy, so we got him jeans, an nice shirt and a bolo. My mom had wanted me, Christy and my two cousins to pick out the clothes. Christy was coming that day, but wouldn’t be there until about 1:00, and my cousin called me the day before and said that she and my other cousin trusted us to pick out something nice. Christy said to go ahead and get something because everything was taking longer than she had planned. It worked out well, because mom really wanted him dressed as soon as possible.
When we got back to the funeral home with the clothes, we were able to start discussing flowers. We had seen some in a viewing room that were gorgeous in color, but not quite manly enough. About this time my uncle Calvin and aunt Jody got there. It was great timing, because mom was real hesitant to make this decision without Calvin. She told/showed him what she was thinking about and he was fine with it. The casket arrangement was beautiful. The grandkids, and great-grandkids had an arrangement that complimented the casket arrangement. It was all so pretty and tranquil. Elva, his wife, wanted to have an arrangement of roses and baby’s breath, so they ordered one that could go to her in the nursing home when the funeral was over. It all came together real nice.
We left there and picked up some lunch then went back to the farm. I think Christy was there by then. She brought Mavrick over with her, so I had two of my boys then. It seems like we worked around the house for a while then. I think we were looking for Pop’s Mason’s Apron. They wanted him to being wearing that too because the Mason’s were a huge part of his life. I call it his fraternity.
Later, Mom, Dad, Calvin and Jody went back to the funeral home to make sure Pop looked ok and that everything else was in order. Christy and I went in a little later with the kids. It was Mavrick’s first time to see an actual dead body. Angela, our neighbor who died in September was cremated. So, I had to talk with him about what he was going to see, and that it was just a shell and his spirit was in heaven with Jesus, and Granny, and Uncle Michael. Mavrick did amazingly well. He looked at him for a minute or two. He is an emotional kid, but he did really well.
The rest of the day was a blur, but I know that that Saturday and Sunday were the longest days of my life. Mavrick slept with me and Major in our full sized bed that night. He slept in an “L” shape, which left very little room for me and Major. Oh well, I wasn’t really sleeping anyway.
That brings me back to last Saturday. Saturday morning, mom and I had to deliver Pop’s obituary to the funeral home by 10:00, so we left the house at 9:00 and went by to get a picture that his sister printed for us on the way. We delivered the obit, made corrections on a copy they printed for us (which didn’t all get corrected!) and then went to find a florist. Being a holiday weekend, there was not one single florist in town who was open. We went back to the funeral home to see if they knew of one that may be open, and they have a florist. Yea! But she was not in yet.
So, we went to the western store and bought some clothes for him. We got him a very nice outfit, that he looked great in. I could just see him going dancin’ in something like this. They used to go to dances down at the lodge. It was so sweet, and they were so cute! He was so handsome. He was never much of a coat and tie guy, so we got him jeans, an nice shirt and a bolo. My mom had wanted me, Christy and my two cousins to pick out the clothes. Christy was coming that day, but wouldn’t be there until about 1:00, and my cousin called me the day before and said that she and my other cousin trusted us to pick out something nice. Christy said to go ahead and get something because everything was taking longer than she had planned. It worked out well, because mom really wanted him dressed as soon as possible.
When we got back to the funeral home with the clothes, we were able to start discussing flowers. We had seen some in a viewing room that were gorgeous in color, but not quite manly enough. About this time my uncle Calvin and aunt Jody got there. It was great timing, because mom was real hesitant to make this decision without Calvin. She told/showed him what she was thinking about and he was fine with it. The casket arrangement was beautiful. The grandkids, and great-grandkids had an arrangement that complimented the casket arrangement. It was all so pretty and tranquil. Elva, his wife, wanted to have an arrangement of roses and baby’s breath, so they ordered one that could go to her in the nursing home when the funeral was over. It all came together real nice.
We left there and picked up some lunch then went back to the farm. I think Christy was there by then. She brought Mavrick over with her, so I had two of my boys then. It seems like we worked around the house for a while then. I think we were looking for Pop’s Mason’s Apron. They wanted him to being wearing that too because the Mason’s were a huge part of his life. I call it his fraternity.
Later, Mom, Dad, Calvin and Jody went back to the funeral home to make sure Pop looked ok and that everything else was in order. Christy and I went in a little later with the kids. It was Mavrick’s first time to see an actual dead body. Angela, our neighbor who died in September was cremated. So, I had to talk with him about what he was going to see, and that it was just a shell and his spirit was in heaven with Jesus, and Granny, and Uncle Michael. Mavrick did amazingly well. He looked at him for a minute or two. He is an emotional kid, but he did really well.
The rest of the day was a blur, but I know that that Saturday and Sunday were the longest days of my life. Mavrick slept with me and Major in our full sized bed that night. He slept in an “L” shape, which left very little room for me and Major. Oh well, I wasn’t really sleeping anyway.
Back to Life
BACK TO REALITY – I woke up this morning to Mark saying “Crap! It’s 7:00.” In the mornings, I usually have Major in our bed and we try to sleep, or at least lay low, through all of the morning commotion. As Mark was leaving he told me that Mavrick was in the living room watching TV and running a fever. I called and got him a Dr appointment.
Last week I took him to the Dr on Wednesday because he was congested and had a skin rash. The Dr just told us to use some over the counter meds and lotion for the skin. On Friday, Mark took him back because a place on his arm was looking worse. The Dr said it looked like an insect bite, keep it clean, and watch it. Well, it got worse while we were in Weatherford, so I had planned to take him back today.
Today the Dr thought it was definitely a spider bite, possible brown recluse because of the way the skin was dying around it, but that it would eventually be ok. BUT it would take several weeks before it was healed and he prescribed a steroidal cream to help it heal and reduce scarring. But he was concerned about the fever and wanted to make sure that it wasn’t related to the bite. They did the strep test, which Mavrick HATES! And it came back positive. Oh Yea! Over the last 5 days he has been exposed to at least 100 different people – especially his 7 month old brother and cousin.
As we left, I called Daddy and asked him for help. My dad is so wonderful. He takes care of me/us, and I know would do anything for me/us. Daddy was at Costco, but would come by and get the Rx and take them to the store. By the time he got back I needed him to go back by the Dr office, to drop off the Rx, bring us back home some food, go back to pick up the Rx and pick-up Michael. Sorry Daddy, hope you didn’t have a day of your own planned.
Major is working through a case of static cling… he is on me like a dryer sheet to a wool skirt! He was held by someone most of the last week, and now he is having to work through that. Everything I did today I had to do sitting by him on the floor or with him in my lap. I would leave him on the floor and he would start getting pissy. Yea!
And my house looks like a laundry mat blew up in here! Clothes are from one end of the house to the other. It is crazy. I went to start the second load to wash today and the dial fell right off in my hand. It will still function, but I am using pliers to turn the dial. We may be livin’ like white trash, but at least our clothes will be clean.
Mom called this afternoon. She is staying at the farm a few more days. She said she is doing well, but making a mess. It is therapeutic for her to start working through things and culling out the obvious trash. She is real hesitant to throughout much, because you never know what someone else will consider treasure. He had two drawers full of “wife beater” t-shirts, that looked brand new. I hope she is donating those! I warned her about the strep throat, and she said she wouldn’t be surprised if she gave it to him because she felt so bad last week on Tuesday and Wednesday, but didn’t go to the Dr. That’s why she didn’t go to see Pop on Thursday; she didn’t think she was fully over whatever she had.
Last week I took him to the Dr on Wednesday because he was congested and had a skin rash. The Dr just told us to use some over the counter meds and lotion for the skin. On Friday, Mark took him back because a place on his arm was looking worse. The Dr said it looked like an insect bite, keep it clean, and watch it. Well, it got worse while we were in Weatherford, so I had planned to take him back today.
Today the Dr thought it was definitely a spider bite, possible brown recluse because of the way the skin was dying around it, but that it would eventually be ok. BUT it would take several weeks before it was healed and he prescribed a steroidal cream to help it heal and reduce scarring. But he was concerned about the fever and wanted to make sure that it wasn’t related to the bite. They did the strep test, which Mavrick HATES! And it came back positive. Oh Yea! Over the last 5 days he has been exposed to at least 100 different people – especially his 7 month old brother and cousin.
As we left, I called Daddy and asked him for help. My dad is so wonderful. He takes care of me/us, and I know would do anything for me/us. Daddy was at Costco, but would come by and get the Rx and take them to the store. By the time he got back I needed him to go back by the Dr office, to drop off the Rx, bring us back home some food, go back to pick up the Rx and pick-up Michael. Sorry Daddy, hope you didn’t have a day of your own planned.
Major is working through a case of static cling… he is on me like a dryer sheet to a wool skirt! He was held by someone most of the last week, and now he is having to work through that. Everything I did today I had to do sitting by him on the floor or with him in my lap. I would leave him on the floor and he would start getting pissy. Yea!
And my house looks like a laundry mat blew up in here! Clothes are from one end of the house to the other. It is crazy. I went to start the second load to wash today and the dial fell right off in my hand. It will still function, but I am using pliers to turn the dial. We may be livin’ like white trash, but at least our clothes will be clean.
Mom called this afternoon. She is staying at the farm a few more days. She said she is doing well, but making a mess. It is therapeutic for her to start working through things and culling out the obvious trash. She is real hesitant to throughout much, because you never know what someone else will consider treasure. He had two drawers full of “wife beater” t-shirts, that looked brand new. I hope she is donating those! I warned her about the strep throat, and she said she wouldn’t be surprised if she gave it to him because she felt so bad last week on Tuesday and Wednesday, but didn’t go to the Dr. That’s why she didn’t go to see Pop on Thursday; she didn’t think she was fully over whatever she had.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Friday, November 28th
Friday, me and the boys went down to Mom and Dad’s to eat some leftovers. Shortly after 2:00, the nursing home called and said that Pop-paw had passed away. Mom started to cry and thank God. She hung up the phone and told us. We were all so happy that we had been to see him the day before. I called Christy to tell her and she asked what happened. I told her “he was waiting for us to come see him.” He was waiting for us to come and wrap up the visits from the grandkids. Both of my cousins had been to see him since he had been in the hospital. It had been since Halloween since Christy had seen him and we had not seen him since the family reunion in October.
Anyway, from what I have been told, his wife was in his room with him and they had decided to eat some of the fruit we had taken the day before. He was cutting it for her and she heard him make a sound, looked at him and he seemed fine, then he made the sound again and was gone. She went down to the nurses’ station and told them to “come check on Hershell, I think he’s dead.”
Obviously, after calling her brother, she and my dad headed over to Weatherford to start taking care of what needed to be done. I wanted to go to the farm.
The Farm is the closest thing to “going home” that I have. When I was 5 we moved to Benbrook. We moved to Texarkana when I was 16. When I was 18 I started my college travels, and when I was 20 I moved to Lewisville. My parents have made several moves since I left Texarkana. I don’t have a bedroom that I grew up in. We don’t have a dining room that we always had Christmas dinner in. But we do have the farm. It is where I want to run to when things break down. It is refuge. It is my safe place. It is a security blanket. It is comfort food. It is where I had MANY Christmas dinners. We have been going to that house since they built it in 1984, and that property for years before that. The farm is home, and I wanted to get there as soon as I could.
It took me hours to pack. I couldn’t hold a thought. I would catch myself just standing still in the middle of the room, lost in my thoughts. Major and I finally got over there about 7:30 and waited in the dark in the car until Mom and Dad got there. Getting into the house and settling in allowed me to finally take a deep breath. It felt so good to be there.
Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving Day, the Pittard and Corr families (me and my sister) started the day going to Weatherford to see my Granddad, “Pop-paw.” He had gotten back to the nursing home the week before, so we had decided to go over and see him. He looked wonderful. More like the Pop-paw I remember. His face was fuller than it was at the reunion, and he seemed more there. He was laying in his bed with a blanket over him and his skinny little arm back behind his head. He was smiling and just real happy, and had a sense of humor. When we asked him if he wanted anything or a needed a drink, he said we could get him a “bud.” It was great to see him. We visited for about a while, then went down to get “Mee-Maw” and pushing her down the hall to his room. Mark didn’t go to Mee-Maw’s room , but stayed and talked to Pop. We visited for a little while longer , all told him that we loved him and kissed him good-bye.
Mavrick was kind of stand-offish, and I asked him if wanted to come say bye to Pop-paw, and he shied away and said no. Then Christy said, “Mavrick, get in here and tell Pop-paw bye.” So he did. She scares us all. Walking out Christy said “This made my Thanksgiving.”
Mavrick was kind of stand-offish, and I asked him if wanted to come say bye to Pop-paw, and he shied away and said no. Then Christy said, “Mavrick, get in here and tell Pop-paw bye.” So he did. She scares us all. Walking out Christy said “This made my Thanksgiving.”
We all then went to Mom and Dad’s house for lunch and then we went to Wayne and Buena’s for our normal Thanksgiving visit. It was the first time that they had seen Major, so that was really special, too. All in all, it was a wonderful day of family and thanksgiving.
The Blog
Boy! The last few days have been a whirlwind! I have so much spinning around in my head, and can’t hold a thought for longer than a minute.
When I was younger, I would write my thoughts down and it would help clear my mind and/or lighten my heart. That brings me to my blog. I love the blog. I love the person who came up with the concept of the blog. I love that I can share my thoughts, dreams, feelings, hurts and accomplishments with my family and friends. I love being able to share the raw truth behind what I write. I love the blog.
When I was younger, I would write my thoughts down and it would help clear my mind and/or lighten my heart. That brings me to my blog. I love the blog. I love the person who came up with the concept of the blog. I love that I can share my thoughts, dreams, feelings, hurts and accomplishments with my family and friends. I love being able to share the raw truth behind what I write. I love the blog.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
